You Scientists
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Semicrossover with SGA. It's Thor and Carter vs. McKay and Hermiod.


Title: You Scientists

Author: Kate McCaye

Rating: K

Spoilers: End of 8, early 9 for SG-1, teeny ones for early 2 of SGA

Summary: I love the Asgard, and Hermiod is so adorable. I immediately assumed there was a back story to how he was appointed to the Daedelus, and I got it in my head that he has the same relationship with Thor that Carter has with McKay. I guess this is sort of a crossover with SGA, but only characters from SG-1 actually appear here.

You Scientists

"Thor, buddy!" General O'Neill greeted enthusiastically as his little grey friend materialized in his office.

"Greetings, O'Neill. It is good to see you."

"You too. Love the new body."

"Thank you, O'Neill. Where is Colonel Carter? I wish to thank her personally for eliminating the Replicators once and for all."

"Don't we all. Well, she's… around, but she's supposed to be going home to pack soon. We're going fishing. Want to come?"

"I must decline the offer, O'Neill. Regretfully, I'm sure."

"I'm sure," O'Neill repeated dryly. "So, listen, Thor, Carter was kind of hoping you guys could do us a favor."

"I am in your debt many times over, O'Neill, as are the rest of the Asgard. If it is in my power, I will gladly assist Colonel Carter with whatever she wishes."

"Well, that's good to hear. See, we've got this cool new ship called the Daedelus… not my idea to name it that, by the way, but the President wasn't a fan of 'Homer…' anyway… it's a lot better than the Prometheus and it's about to make a trip to Atlantis, so…"

The door to O'Neill's office opened and Carter darted inside, closing it quickly behind her. "Sir, is there any way we can ask Dr. Weir to leave McKay on Atlantis next time they stop by for a visit? I didn't think it was possible but the little weasel has gotten even more arrogant and…"

"Carter, we've shipped the man off to another galaxy… I can't get him any further away from you than that."

"I know, sir, but…"

"Carter, aren't you going to say hi to Thor?" Jack interrupted, gesturing to Thor, who was seated in one of the chairs facing the General's desk. From where Carter was standing, she couldn't see him.

"Thor?" Carter asked with a surprised smile as she came over to the desk. "Hi, Thor, I didn't know you were here."

"Greetings, Colonel Carter."

"How are you?" Carter asked, resisting the familiar urge to hug the little guy. He was just so huggable! But he really didn't seem to like it that one time she had forgotten the 'don't hug Thor' rule.

"I am well, thank you. We are very grateful for your recent assistance. O'Neill informs me that you have a request to make. I am most happy to assist you."

Carter glanced at her CO, who gestured for her to sit down. She took the chair next to Thor and said, "Well, the thing is, we've got this new ship…"

"The Daedelus," Thor confirmed. "O'Neill wished to call it 'The Homer.'"

Carter rolled her eyes and turned to her CO. "Sir… don't you think it's about time you got over that?"

"Just tell Thor what you want, Carter."

"Right. Well, I'm fairly certain we aren't going to have many problems with the ship, but since _someone _refused my request to be put in charge of the ship and gave it to Colonel Caldwell instead…" she fixed her CO with an accusatory look.

O'Neill gave an innocent, unconcerned shrug. They'd finally convinced him to let Daniel go on the Daedelus, but when Carter and Daniel had tried to get him to let them both go he had flat-out refused, reverting to the 'stick your fingers in your ears and hum loudly until they go away' tactic.

Thor looked back and forth between them, certain he was missing something.

"Anyway," Carter said, turning her attention back to Thor. "The crew is going to be the best we have, of course, but since the intergalactic technology is so new, I was hoping you might be able to help us for a little while."

"Me personally?" Thor asked, not bothering to hide his distaste for the idea. Thor was extremely fond of O'Neill, Colonel Carter, Teal'c, and Daniel Jackson, but he did not relish the idea of spending weeks and perhaps months on a ship with any of the other humans of Earth.

"No, not you personally, I know you're busy and that would be really boring for you, but… it would really be extremely helpful if there were any Asgard available to monitor our systems and help train our personnel."

"Who is this McKay you were speaking of? I could perhaps send him to a more distant galaxy for you if he is bothering you, Colonel Carter."

"Thanks for the offer, Thor. Unfortunately, he _is _needed on Atlantis, as he not-so-subtly keeps pointing out to me…"

"I see."

"He's a smart guy, he's just…"

"A pain in the ass," O'Neill finished as Carter searched for a more diplomatic way of trying to explain Rodney McKay to Thor.

"Indeed? And he is the lead scientist on Atlantis?"

Carter assumed Thor was asking because he would be reluctant to force an Asgard to work so closely with someone she was describing so badly. "Well… yes, but… I guess he's not all _that _bad, it's really just a personality issue…"

"Yeah, he needs a new one," O'Neill put in.

"I see," Thor said. "I believe I understand. And if I might make a suggestion, I believe I have a similar relationship with one of the scientists on our home world. I find him annoying, although he would be more than qualified to provide the assistance you require. I am sure he would be available to assist you for as long as necessary."

O'Neill looked back and forth between the grin on Carter's face and the way the very corners of Thor's tiny mouth twitched upwards. "You scientists," he muttered affectionately.

Ah well, he'd let them have their little revenges – it wouldn't hurt anything, after all. And he couldn't stand McKay either, no matter how much Weir seemed to like him. O'Neill had been more than a little surprised to learn that Shepard had even learned to get along with the guy. But Carter still couldn't stand him.

"Do any of your people speak Asgard, Colonel Carter?"

"No…"

"That is fortunate. I shall contact our home world immediately as soon as I return to my ship."

"Wait, what do you mean 'that's fortunate?'" O'Neill asked suspiciously.

"The Asgard in question has the impolite habit of swearing under his breath frequently when he is displeased. However, since none of your people will understand what he is saying…"

Jack laughed and nodded. "Gotcha. All right, well, send for the little guy, and make sure McKay hears he's been assigned with my compliments. We'll probably be gone by the time the little guy gets here, but I'm sure General Landry will be more than happy to make all the proper introductions, fill out all the paperwork…"

"Indeed."

"All right, come on Carter, let's go pack. And if we come across McKay and your fist happens to bump into his face, well, I'm sure it'll happen while I'm looking the other way."

Carter laughed and got to her feet as Thor did the same. "Thor, just out of curiosity… what's the name of the Asgard you can't stand?" Carter asked.

Thor narrowed his eyes and said tersely, "Hermiod."


End file.
